The Cannabis Cleanse

This week I am officially going on a cannabis cleanse. Today is my third day without cannabis, marking the longest period in at least five years that I haven't touched the plant at all. 

I want and need to separate from cannabis in order to reset my connection to the plant. As a longtime cannabis advocate and enthusiast, I often struggle to find a healthy balance between my overwhelming love for cannabis and my overwhelming responsibilities, desires and goals as a budding cannabis entrepreneur. While I do believe that cannabis can be used as a tool for productivity and creative thinking, there is a fine line between a healthy habit and an all-encompassing dependency. Most days you can find me right on that line, questioning where I really fall if no one is looking. 

Some days I wonder if I love cannabis so deeply that I have forgotten why I fell in love with her in the first place. Am I using cannabis because she is actually helping me or am I using cannabis because I can't remember a day without her? In the process of fully integrating cannabis into my daily routine, have I lost sight of why I chose her in the first place? These are the questions that ultimately inspired the cleanse. It's not a breakup, just a break. 

Sometimes I take advantage of cannabis, using her just because I'm bored and can't think of anything better to do. I tell myself that I need her to work, cook, or clean, as though I couldn't get anything done if she wasn't a part of it. Sometimes she takes advantage of me, and I find myself lazy, uninspired, and tired in the middle of the day. I have blamed her for taking up too much space in my life. Other times I wait until the very end of the day to use cannabis, feel better instantly and wonder why I didn't just do what I wanted and used her earlier. Like with any modern relationship, it is critical to constantly evaluate the give and take power dynamic. Who is using who? 

For me, this cleanse is significant for many reasons. Firstly, it proves to myself that I am not addicted to cannabis. In fact, I feel energized, inspired, and awake. It is as though cannabis, the love of my life, went on vacation and I am at home missing her just enough to appreciate our relationship while also embracing my temporary independence. Secondly, it reaffirms my conviction that intention is everything. At the last cannabis women's circle, we talked a lot about the importance of setting intentions before you use cannabis in order to maintain a healthy relationship with the plant. Many cannabis advocates self-medicate throughout the day, losing sight of when, why and how they are consuming cannabis. Often I consume cannabis because I can't think of a reason why I shouldn't consume cannabis. In doing so, I am blurring my connection with the plant and preventing my needs from being met because I am not recognizing what those needs are in the first place. 

So here I am, on Day 3 of my Cannabis Cleanse, feeling healthy and overall just fine. I miss her, but I also know that when I see her again it will be extra special and worth the wait. For now I am using supplements and herbs like Kava Kava, Ginseng, Maca, Passionflower and Chamomile. I am going to yoga and cooking and catching up with old friends. I am listening to who I am without cannabis so I can rediscover who she is to me.

I actually think this is the first blog post I've written without her, but it won't be the last. I highly recommend an occasional cannabis cleanse as an opportunity to disconnect in order to reconnect to the powerful plant we know and love.